Well, we’re no longer in a forest. We’re, excuse me, in a nature reserve. With guards, “keep quiet” signs, and comments that are locked in advance, lest anyone, God forbid, start thinking out loud.
First, I saw Gordon interviewing his wife. I grinned. Well, family business, it happens.
Then Kuleba—he simply sat his housewife wife down across from him and started the interview. Funny, too. Oh well, I thought: life is like that, the media is like that, love is like that—”what I see, that’s what I sing about.”
But it gets better.
The head of the PRMTU, Oleh Grigoryuk (one of Ukraine’s maritime trade unions), picked up on the trend and gave an interview… “to himself,” since who conducted the interview wasn’t specified, and who compiled the list of questions is also known to the head himself.
No, think about it. This is no longer a “family interview.” This is an “internal dialogue.”
This is a new level of journalism: interviews without risks, without awkward questions, without clarifications, without facts that could take on a life of their own.
It’s like going to a medical examination and giving yourself a “fit” certificate.
And giving yourself a stamp.
And assembling the commission—from yourself.
And signing the report—with both hands, to look convincing.
I immediately picture this in a professional context:
— Oleg, please tell me, why is it so difficult for sailors?
— Thank you, Oleg, for this important question. I’m glad you asked it. That’s exactly why we work.
And that’s it. The depth is covered. The topic is closed. The comments are closed.
And here I have one small, modest, practically non-maritime question:
Why aren’t there any interviews with real journalists or maritime bloggers?
Why not invite those who are truly in the know, those who ask the awkward questions “why?”, “where?”, “who didn’t sign the MLC?”, “why the 500 ruble passport?”, “who did you coordinate this with?”, “show me the document”?
Why is it always “ours” with “ours”—and it’s preferable that there be only one “ours”?
Because there’s this amazing “gray zone” between seafarers, trade unions, and government agencies.
It’s like the MLC and “work and rest”: everyone knows they’re not complying, everyone turns a blind eye, but no one likes it when the topic is raised.
Everything in this zone is brilliantly arranged:
- there’s no one to ask questions,
- no one to check answers,
- discussions are impossible because comments are closed,
- reactions are limited because, God forbid, people might start using the wrong emojis.
Of course, I won’t bring up the fact that “bad” emoji aren’t available in Telegram.
Otherwise, you know… there would be “Possible” records for 💩.
Although, perhaps this would also become a new performance metric: “reach,” “engagement,” “organic.”
“The average number of 💩 per post is growing. That means the audience cares.”
But the most beautiful thing is when closed comments under posts are presented as concern.
Like, “We’re protecting you from toxicity.”
No, my dears, it’s not protection. It’s soundproofing.
So, God forbid, you don’t hear that the engine room has been burning for a long time down below, and on the bridge they’re still discussing which coffee machine to buy.
Look, an interview “with yourself” isn’t just a symptom.
It’s a diagnosis. This is a diagnosis of the state of the maritime industry in Ukraine and its future.
And an interview “with yourself” is a comfort.
The questions are soft, like a pillow.
The answers are warm, like a blanket.
And most importantly: no one interrupts. No one clarifies. No one asks for specifics.
This is the perfect format for our reality:
If you want transparency, turn on the light, but only in your room.
If you want accountability, report to yourself.
If you want trust, trust yourself.
And in the end, a simple, down-to-earth, Odesa-like moral:
If you get bored, give an interview to yourself.
No conflicts. No inconvenience.
And you can always say, “You misunderstood, I meant something else.”
Because, you see… when the interviewer and the subject are one and the same, there are always two culprits, but no one to answer for.
That’s how we live.
And the sailors?
Sailors, as always, at sea. You can’t close the comments there.
Write your real questions ⬇️
Author: Odesa Pilot⚓️